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My biggest wedding day fear - and how I tackled it

My biggest wedding day fear - and how I tackled it

Written by Katie Byrne

Four brides - and one groom! - tell all...

"I hated the thought of having the spotlight on me."

I'm naturally shy - like, really shy - and so when David proposed, my first thought, stupidly, was what it would mean in terms of my confidence levels. The thought of having to stand up in front of everyone, say my vows and be at the centre of attention all day long really stressed me out. After really freaking out for a few weeks, my mum told me to book a few sessions with a confidence coach. It definitely helped - I was still nervous, but it was definitely way easier than it would have been otherwise. Melissa, Warwick

My tip: Be honest about how you feel. Nerves are natural, but dread isn't! 

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"I was terrified no one would turn up."

I kept having a recurring dream no one would arrive. It was always the same: my groom and I were both at the altar, and the church was empty. I had the dream at least twice a week in the run-up to my wedding - I tried not to let it bother me but spent a lot of time running through my RSVP list just to try and reassure myself! Becka, St Ives 

My tip: Don't let dreams or thoughts bug you. Just because you've had the thought, it doesn't mean it's going to happen! 

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"My body issues made me dread the thought of wearing a dress."

I've always struggled with my size, and when I started shopping for my wedding dress, I felt really low. All the dresses were so gorgeous and slim-fit, and I had to keep asking my bridesmaid to ask the shop assistant to bring out bigger sizes. I didn't feel I needed to lose weight, but I hated seeing my body squeezed into tulle and lace. I spoke to my friend, who's a doctor, who recommended I make little changes to my lifestyle to make me feel better in myself: not necessarily losing weight, but instead focusing on drinking more water, taking vitamins and so on. I focused on learning to love my body, rather than resenting it for being its shape and size - it wasn't easy, but it was so worth while. Claire, Stockton-on-Tees

My tip: Remember your partner is marrying you - not some idealised bridal equivalent. 

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"I was worried it wouldn't match up to what I imagined."

I've always dreamed about my wedding day: I was definitely one of those little girls who wore a pillowcase on her head! Having grown up with a really specific idea of what I wanted the day to look like, I sort of lost sight of the important stuff. When I had a mini meltdown about not being able to find the exact venue decorations I wanted, my partner told me I needed to change my perspective, and focus more on what the day meant to us emotionally, rather than physically (or in my case - decoratively!). It was hard wrenching myself away from the very specific ideas I had for our day, but it was far easier in the long-run. Phoebe, Wolverhampton

My tip: Try and go into things with an open mind. Having an idea of what you want is great, but be open to alternatives. 

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"I thought my partner had cold feet."

When I proposed, she said 'yes' - but it wasn't quite the 'OMG, yes!' moment I'd imagined. Throughout the planning, I always felt like I was the one who was doing everything: booking appointments, making a timeline and so on. It wasn't that she didn't care, she just preferred taking a back-seat role. She was half an hour late for the ceremony, and I was convinced she wasn't going to turn up. It was the most terrifying wait of my life - but when she did arrive (her car had broken down) it turned into the most magical. Simon, London

My tip: Speak to your partner if you're not convinced their heart is in it. I didn't - and it would have spared me a lot of unnecessary stress if I had! 

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