Because we all have that single - and hopelessly romantic - bridesmaid. She might just enjoy giving this a read!
1. Yay! I'm a bridesmaid!
2. Is it too much if I announce my bridesmaid status on Facebook with the status 'I said yes...!'? *Dry chuckle*
3. Yeah. Probably a bit OTT. Dad might have a heart attack.
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4. The bride definitely said she doesn't want a stripper on her hen do but that probably means she actually does, right? What if our eyes meet across the room and it turns out the stripper is The One?
5. Where do I even find a stripper?
6. Ergh, actually mum would hate that. I'd have to pretend he had another job - like landscape gardener or something - but then what if she found out I'd lied?
8. Stripper = bad idea on all accounts.
9. I want to try on a wedding dress. Would it be weird if I suggested it the next time I go to a dress boutique with the bride...?
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10. No. The bride would understand - though I might save showing her my secret Pinterest board for a different time.
12. Okay, that's weird: why does the bride keep winking every time she mentions the Best Man?
12. Maybe she's developed a twitch because of all the wedding planning stress. I should offer to do more to help her out. Maybe I can do some, er, admin or something.
13. The best part about people telling me over and over 'it'll be you one day!' is the more I hear it, the more I start to believe it.
14. It's kind of like a positive-enforcement mantra. Or something.
15. But I do also wonder how they're always able to zone in on me, in a group. It's like I have a sign above my head. Which I don't, obviously.
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16. Being persuaded to sign-up to Tinder whilst out for the hen party was a Bad Idea.
17. It was fun at the time though. Swiping is romantic, right? Love at first swipe is totally a thing. Totally. Totally.
18. Ugh and now I can't shake off 31-year-old Shane who lives 20 miles away, who has my phone number after the MOH messaged it to him.
19. Oh Shane. You and your incessant aubergine-themed Whatsapps. Would this be something we tell our grandchildren about...?
20. Nothing quite like standing in paper pants in a spray-tan booth a couple of days before a wedding to make you assess your life.
21. What if I never get married?
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22. ...Should I propose to my boyfriend?
23. By 'boyfriend' I mean 'novely cactus wearing a sombrero', so the answer is probably no.
24. FOREVER ALONE. But at least the spray-tan gamble played off. *admires perfect golden skin*
25. Hang on. The Best Man just sent me a friend request on Facebook. It's getting hot in here...
26. Night before the wedding. I could get an early night or I could keep scrolling through the Best Man's Instagram posts. *pretends like it's an option*
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27. Must remember to not ask him about his trip to the Maldives, from 131 weeks ago.
28. Oh God. Did I just hit like on that picture of him and his cat? OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD - phew. False alarm.
29. Ugh. Lizzie Bennet didn't have to contend with this kind of thing.