The simple golden rules for being the best bridesmaid ever!
#1 Know the bride
Brides are as different from each other as snowflakes, and every bride will want certain things from her bridesmaids. Use your knowledge of her personality to provide the kind of support she’ll need.
As her friend, you have everything it takes to be the best bridesmaid around - especially if you are thoughtful enough to ask how you can help, instead of assuming you know her well enough to read her mind.
#2 Have no expectations
Getting married can be overwhelming and sometimes brides become neurotic versions of their former selves. Don’t abandon her when she needs you most! Your emotional support and comic relief are the keys to her sanity. She may not be able to give back in the way she would under normal circumstances, but if you set aside your expectations - for example, that she should reward your efforts with gifts - you won’t be disappointed. Cut her slack, often and always.
#3 Bond, girl!
Whether or not you laready know the other bridesmaids, bond with them. You are the bride’s dear friends, and she wants you to get along. Having a tight-knit group of attendants is every bride’s dream come true.
#4 Take direction
The bride is your director and together you are putting on a fabulous show - even if the wedding ceremony is simply a few close friends and family members gathered in an open field. This means that, for the most part, you should chuck your own opinions out the window.
No matter how knowledgeable you are about weddings, do not make assumptions about what the bride wants. Don’t assume that she is going to choose specific wedding colours just because you, your sister or your other friend did. Think about her. Is she the type to know - or care - about such formalities? If not, you should not try to press any tradition upon her.
#5 Be fabulous!
Being fabulous means being loyal, enthusiastic, fun, gorgeous and true. It is about being the best friend you can be. This has everything to do with attitude - feeling love and respect for the bride - and little to do with money or perfect attendance at the pre-wedding parties. If you don’t love and respect her on some level, thing again about being her bridesmaid.
If you have doubts in the beginning, just imagine how you’ll feel after you’ve spent hundreds of pounds, hosted parties and logged hours giving moral support. When your love for the bride is alive, fulfilling your duties will come naturally and you’ll have fabulous fun while you’re at it.
Extract taken from The Bridesmaid Guide: Modern Advice on Etiquette, Parties and Being Fabulous by Kate Chynoweth (Chronicle Books).