Written by Katie Byrne, published 2nd oct 2017
Can't wait until your wedding night? Get it on without raising an eyebrow with these pointers...
1. Know what you’re dealing with
Have a rough idea of what and where and when. Easy-peasy if you have your own bedroom or suite at your venue; slipping upstairs for a ‘break’ will be super-simple. If your venue is an open space with no bedrooms and limited scope for sneaking off, you might need to control your urges - or think more creatively. Giving it thought in advance might not sound like the most sexy and spontaneous decision you’ve ever made - but ultimately, it could definitely pay off.
2. Pick your moment
Disappearing minutes before the DJ asks the bride and groom to head to the dancefloor for their first dance? Nope, not smart! Instead, pick a busier, less public time, such as when the evening reception in full-swing. You’re going to have to be quick - duh - but choose a time when your absence will be a little less obvious. Also: to add a little extra excitement, make sure you don’t leave at the same time. Rather, one of you should disappear first and the other should follow a minute or two later.
3. What’s your code word?
Enlist your inner spy and agree in advance on a special word or phrase that means you want to slip off.
4. Prep your excuse
When you return, get your story straight should someone ask where you’ve both been, to avoid the classic comedy situation of you both giving different answers at the same time.
5. Think practical
Wearing a huge dress, with a never-ending train? No guest-free zones at your venue? Simply no time to spare? Fight your immediate urges and instead let the excitement build - it will just add to the sexual fireworks later on, promise!
6. Timing is key
Don’t think this will be the lengthiest love-making session you’ll have ever shared; time is of the essence, people! However, there’s something rather exhilarating about a quickie - and if you don’t manage to go all the way, you can always finish what you started later on.
7. Make sure a mirror will be available
Yup, that post-sex flush might well give you a glow - but make sure you can have a quick mirror-check to guarantee everything is in place. A tell-tale smudge of lipstick or undone hairstyle will instantly have eyebrows a’raising.