Written by Katie Byrne, published 9th oct 2017
'I wouldn’t have had an issue with her taking pictures as long as they remained private'
The reveal of a bride's wedding choice is arguably one of the most highly-anticipated moments of a couple's celebration.
However, for one bride, that moment was yanked away from her when one of her bridesmaids shared a photo of her wedding dress online - before the big day.
The bride-to-be, who is getting married in May 2018, shared her story on website mamamia.com.au, telling forum users that she was over-the-moon when she found her perfect wedding dress during a shopping trip with her four bridesmaids. She put down a 50% deposit and then took her 'maids out for lunch to celebrate.
Over to you, 'anonymous'...
"We had a really lovely afternoon together," she wrote on Mamamia, "But then when I got home I got a phone call from my bridesmaid Sandra that left me shaking and in tears. Sandra informed me that another bridesmaid, Tanya, who is a close friend of mine from school, had shared a picture of me in the wedding dress I purchased on her Instagram account. I have social media, but I don’t use it or check it often. Sandra, a friend who I work with, knew that I wouldn’t see it and felt that she owed it to me to tell me so I could address it if I wished".
'Anonymous' continued: "To be clear, I wasn’t even aware the picture had been taken. I was hopping in and out of dresses so frequently during the fittings that I wasn’t really paying attention to what was going on around me. I assumed Tanya was simply on her phone, I didn’t know she was snapping pictures. Regardless, I wouldn’t have had an issue with her taking pictures as long as they remained private. But now a picture of me in my wedding dress is on the internet more than eight months before my wedding day. It makes me feel sick and as though the magic had been taken away and ruined".
Tanya was 'defensive' when the bride called her, and 'said she couldn’t understand why I was upset when she didn’t have any of my friends or family on her Instagram account'.
The upset bride went on: "I asked her politely to please delete the picture and explained that I wasn’t comfortable with it being on the internet. Her account isn’t private so it could easily be accessed by anyone. It didn’t sit well with me and I wanted it gone. It was at that point Tanya demanded to know who told her about the image and insisted that she didn’t need to take it down. It’s now been a few days since I spoke to Tanya and Sandra tells me she has been blocked and deleted by Tanya on all her social media".
The bride has revealed she's now considering looking for a new wedding gown, admitting that she can't really afford to owing to the $3k deposit she's already paid; however, she no longer feel likes there's 'surprise or excitement' about her gown, admitting: "Every time I think about it I want to cry and can’t imagine walking down the aisle in this dress anymore".
The bride is now pondering if she should drop Tanya from her bridal party - with the Internet quick to agree that yes, she should.
As one user, Stephi, observed: "it's one thing not thinking or realising in the moment that they shouldn't be posting it (let's give her the benefit of the doubt that it was an oversight and she didn't have the wrong intentions) - however, after you have been upset & asked for it to be taken down - she needs to respect your wishes. If she is not willing to do that, she is no friend of yours".
Hobart_Girl added: "Tell her how you feel. Friends should have your back, especially ones that you consider important enough in your life to be in your bridal party. The most odious part of this story is that she won't take the picture down even after you have asked her - it's a picture of you, put up without your consent".
Read the conversation in full here.